Missed Connections

Ever go on that part of Craig's List? "Missed Connections"? Where people who randomly have a "connection" with other people post inquiries, and the connectee is supposed to reply.

It's really a nice concept. Like, "Hey I saw you staring at me at the that stoplight. You're a creepy bitch with a harelip. Bite me."

I read it all the time. I've recently discovered that there's some sort of code word going around Craig's List Missed Connections Omaha. Sometimes, when "LUNCH" is referenced, the posters aren't really talking about eating salads and drinking bloody mary's. They're talking about some sort of orgy that goes on at a hotel. I'm not even making this up!!

At the lunch party Monday. - m4m - 40 (Omaha hotel)

You were the handsome, hairy chested, goateed cub that I worked with for some time prior to you satisfying the small framed bear on the bed... You left immediately after completing your task... I'm the big bear that was on the floor - really wanted to be in the same position that the small bear was in with you! I believe you have a new tatto on your left pex since last time - we played around at the last lunch party as well... I have lotza talents that I would luv to show ya one-on-one bud. Would really look forward to hearing from you!

http://omaha.craigslist.org/mis/1639331273.html

A little tempted to reply innocently to one of these posts. "Hey, I saw you at lunch too! Gee, your Mac and Cheese looked delicious! Maybe next time we can share fries!"

One of my recent favorites involves a woman changing her clothes in the car. Now I do that all the time. But this lady takes it too far:

Naked Woman - 25 (Lake Manawa)

I see you everyday at Lake Manawa changing your clothes in your car. You usually sit there for awhile naked gazing at the water. You never mind when I park near you.

I would like to get to know you!:) You are sooo beautiful.

Until then, thanks for letting me park next to you everyday.

http://omaha.craigslist.org/mis/1641327984.html

That's just obscene. I guess gazing at a nasty Nebraskan lake naked in a car while a creepy man parks nearby and obviously watches would be nice....

It's my life goal to have someone make a posting about me some day. Now if you know me, this is not an invitation to do so. But if you don't...pull up next to me at a stoplight or shop in the aisle at the grocery store and freaking post that shit on Craig's List.

I'll be reading. And yes, we connected.